Not In Vain

Bullying: a local tragedy, a national topic

Bullying victim Bart Palosz with sister Beata, parents Anna and Franek, and grandmother Judy Jakubiec

(page 1 of 6)

Bart Palosz was a kind, bright teen with a loving family and a life waiting to be lived. After years of bullying by fellow students and little action from a system that should have protected him, he ended his life. How did we let this happen?

Goodbye forever my good friends, goodbye, I regret nothing. Bart Palosz taps out these words on June 7, 2013, in the solitude of his Greenwich bedroom. He has just turned fifteen. He’s a quiet boy, gentle, sweet. But suicidal thinking has a logic all its own, and it persuades him that he is worthless. Despised. Why else would his schoolmates shove him into the thorn bushes? Why else would they seize his belongings and smash them on the ground? Why else would they tell him to go and kill himself? One imagines gentle Bart, there in his bedroom as season turns to season, wondering why on earth people dislike him so.

He had hoped his freshman year at Greenwich High School, now drawing to a close, would be different. He’d hoped a new start would banish from memory his excruciating years at Western Middle School. On his last day there, in a fitting climax, another boy slammed Bart headfirst into a locker, inflicting a bloody gash that required four stitches at Greenwich Hospital. “I know my mom tried to argue it with the school, and the school didn’t provide her with the [surveillance] tape,” Bart’s eighteen-year-old sister, Beata, tells us. “They said they couldn’t obtain it anymore, even though they said they’d just watched it.” And what, according to Western, did the tape reveal? Beata frowns. “They said it looked like an accident.”

Bart is tall, six-foot-three and counting, but pudgy and awkward too, with an odd, shambling gait and a Polish accent. Then there’s the acne. In the last year or two his skin has run riot, giving his enemies yet another target of ridicule. Now Bart’s taking long walks through his Byram neighborhood and across the Mill Street bridge to Port Chester, all the way to the GameStop on Boston Post Road. He is noticeably leaner. And medication has begun to restore his boyish complexion. Despite these self-improvements, the new Bart is still the old Bart. One morning Beata fixes him hot chocolate in her favorite travel mug and sends him off to catch the bus to Greenwich High. (She too attends GHS, but on this morning is reporting to an internship.) On the bus ride home, a boy, up to now neutral in the matter of Bart, grabs the mug and tosses it out the window. Beata, furious, marches up the street to confront him. “He’s like, ‘Bart’s a weirdo, so it’s OK.’ And he locks the door in my face.”

At lunch Bart sits alone, mostly—not in the de facto freshman section, but at an empty table among anonymous seniors. He eats with his headphones on, listening to Eminem, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Sometimes Beata spots him there. “I’d be like, ‘Come sit with us,’ and he’d say, ‘No it’s fine, I can sit here alone.’ That’s when I’d move my table and sit with him, with a bunch of my friends.” Why didn’t he sit with the freshman? “I think he was just scared. I don’t know. He felt like no one liked him there. I remember him telling me that once. He’s like, ‘I have no friends there, why am I going to sit there?’”
Where Bart is large and ungainly, Beata is statuesque and graceful, a cheerleader with a mane of bright blond hair hanging down her back. Plus, she’s a senior. She has all the aura of belonging that Bart lacks. From her position high in the social pecking order, she keeps watch over her little brother, the outsider. She’s his protector. But Bart does not make her job easy. It’s in his nature to accept the bullying passively, quietly—secretly if he can. “After he got his head bashed in at Western, my mom said, ‘OK, we’ll keep fighting this,’” Beata says. “But Bart’s like, ‘No, it’s fine, whatever.’ Sometimes I’d find him in bed, with the cover pulled over his head, crying. He wouldn’t tell me about what. Sometimes he’d lock himself in his room, or take like a three-hour bath, and I knew he was upset, I knew something had happened at school. That’s when me and my mom would try to ask him what happened, but most of the time he just wouldn’t talk about it.”


Greenwich Agenda

  • Nigh Season: New Paintings By David Konigsberg

     @ Kenise Barnes Fine Art

    Dates: September 13 – October 31, 2014 Opening Reception: September 13, 6 – 8:30 PM  Public Invited   NIGH...

  • Undulate: Paintings By Julie Gross and Margaret Neill

     @ Kenise Barnes Fine Art

    GALLERY II Dates: September 13 – October 31, 2014 Opening Reception: September 13, 6 – 8:30 PM Public Invited...

  • Isaia Fall Trunk Show

     @ Richards

  • Parties at the JCC Center

     @ Stamford JCC

    A place to celebrate birthdays and special occasions. Be a guest at your own party! The JCC offers a wonderful space for you and your guests to...

  • The Many Faces of Multi Media

     @ Meli-Melo of Greenwich

    Dr. Julia Trebing, Director Creative Therapies in Stamford, CT exhibits her paintings at Meli-Melo Creperie & Juice Bar  during Sept...

  • SoulCycle GWCH for Make-A-Wish CT

     @ SoulCycle

    Make-A-Wish Connecticut is thrilled to be partnering with SoulCycle's Greenwich location for a charity ride on Saturday, September 20th!...

  • Wall Street Tennis Challenge

     @ Greenwich Country Club

    The goal of The Wall Street Tennis Challenge is to support the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation’s efforts while spreading awareness...

  • Nam Cho Trunk Show

     @ Richards

  • Arts & Crafts on Bedford

     @ Bedford Street

    Shop at over 100 craft and artisan boutiques on Bedford Street, which will be closed to traffic for the weekend. Dine in our extended sidewalk...

  • Puttin’ On The Dog Festival

     @ Roger Sherman Baldwin Park

    Puttin’ On The Dog Festival Greenwich, Connecticut the place to be on September 21st for dogs and their owners...

  • Candy Fairies Book Reading

     @ Imagine Candy

    SCARSDALE, NY, Imagine Candy brings the acclaimed children's author Helen Perelman, the writer of the wickedly sweet Candy Fairies book...

  • Chizi's Tale Book Launch Party

     @ Tudor Investment Campus

    You and your family are invited to join Diane's Books of Greenwich and TUSK USA to celebrate the launch of Chizi's Tale: The True Story...

  • Chizi's Tale Book Launch Party

     @ Tudor Investment Campus

    You and your family are invited to join Diane's Books of Greenwich and TUSK USA to celebrate the launch of Chizi's Tale: The True Story...

  • SM&NC Farm Market

     @ Stamford Museum & Nature Center

    Sundays, June 15 – October 5, 10am – 2pm We're thrilled to bring back the SM&NC Farm Market — now on Sundays!...

  • "Israel and the U.S."

     @ New Canaan Library

    The public is invited to attend a World Affairs Forum Great Decisions event featuring Seth Anziska, Columbia University. Mr. Anziska will speak...

  • Holistic Health Practitioner Kevin W. Reese

     @ Meli-Melo

    Meet Holistic Health Practitioner Kevin W. Reese & Take Home a Signed Copy of His New Book! Kevin is a holistic health practitioner,...

  • Annual State of the Town Address and Luncheon | Greenwich, CT

     @ Milbrook Club

    Greenwich Chamber of Commerce Annual State of the Town Address and Luncheon will be held at Milbrook Club. Registration 11:30am; start at...

  • Greenwich Harbor Sunset Wine Cruise | Greenwich, CT

     @ Delamar Hotel Dock

    The boat "Prudence" departs from the Delamar Hotel Dock on 500 Steamboat Rd. All the wine is sponsored through VALS with food...

  • Aaron Henry Trunk Show & Personal Appearance

     @ Richards

Show More...

Most Popular Articles

  1. American Red Cross: Red and White Ball 2014
    NetJets Hangar at Westchester County Airport
  2. Fashion Day Out
    September 13, 11am to 6pm
  3. Stars of Greenwich
    Meet the founders of the Greenwich International Film Festival
  4. 5 Key Pieces To Buy Now
    Buy now and wear all season
  5. Greenwich Fashion Day Out
    Greenwich Avenue