Get Talking

As an Italian, I grew up around the dinner table. (It’s no surprise that Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper from Blue’s Clues were based on my parents.) The kitchen table was the epicenter of most of our activities: homework, Girl Scout meetings, birthday parties, and, of course, family dinners. We laughed, talked over each other, sometimes fought and always told lots of stories.

Research says that family dinners are an important tool in helping to raise healthy children who do better in school and in life. I always thought it was about modeling positive food choices but the secret is actually in the conversation—taking the time to connect. The more kids feel connected to you, the more likely they are to talk to you about what’s really happening in their lives. And truth be told, it doesn’t have to be around the dinner table. It can be at bedtime, snack time or game time.

Here, tips to get chatting:

» Instead of asking, “Did you learn anything today?” ask, “What great questions did you ask today?”

» Have kids rate their day from one to 10 and then ask why.

» Ask open-ended questions. Instead of yes or no questions.  

» Talk about specifics when looking at their work: ”I love the way you used lines in your drawing.”

» Food loosens kids up and gets them to start talking. A meal or a snack can help get the conversation flowing.

» Talk about your day. Let the kids in on your life, what excites you and what concerns you.

» Talk about your favorite things. Kids love knowing their parents’ favorite colors, ice cream, sports, books.

» Tell stories—how you met your husband or wife, how you came up with your child’s name, what you wanted to be when you grew up, etc.
 
» Don’t forget to laugh.

Mother of two, Angela Santomero is the creator, writer and producer of children’s uber-hits Blue’s Clues and Super Why! Every month Angela offers her advice and observations on being a mom and an executive in children’s television while balancing and learning from both worlds.