Friending Your Kids

Trust is very important for any relationship to grow and flourish. However, for parents the communication process becomes more difficult as our children grow older. But it’s our job to keep them safe and help them develop into the person they’re going to be. To do this, we have to know who their friends are, what decisions they are making, their likes and dislikes, their strengths, weaknesses and mistakes. Yet as they grow, it’s important that they have the space and independence they need. So, what’s a parent to do?

A recent survey conducted by Laptop magazine found that 24 percent of parents got involved with social media because that was “the only way” to see what was going on with their kids. And 13 percent of those surveyed log in just to “snoop around” and see what their kids are up to. There are other ways to keep communication open. Here, a few tips:

• When you’re told something by your child, don’t judge. Judging will only close the door.
• A lot of the time, they just wish to be heard. Don’t try to fix anything, just listen.
• Validate their feelings. Ask them how they feel about a situation. They need to know that it’s OK to be mad, sad, angry, frustrated or thrilled. Talking about situations helps them process and understand the world better.
• If you both utilize social networking sites, why not “friend” each other? If there’s an issue with this, you should figure out why and get to the bottom of the reasons.
• Place an Emphasis on Together Time. Research has shown, over and over again, that alone time with your family, with no technology, will not only create a strong bond, but will benefit kids academically and emotionally in the long run. So, be corny and have family game night, put the kids in the car for a long ride to the beach or just make sure to eat dinner together.